Tuesday, January 16, 2024

Geneaology


    I want to share a new hobby of mine, because I think it is interesting to know how hobbies arise. Whenever I went to family gatherings I was always confused over who was who, and I didn’t understand why we had to take hour-long drives to see people we only saw a few times. Then when the pandemic happened, I was looking for something to do while I was inside the house and I started thinking about my family members. Learning their names and how we were related made our connection feel important.  


    I decided I should make a digital family tree of sorts so I’d have a list to refer to help me understand connections. As I built the tree, I became interested in learning about my ancestors, realizing they helped shape who I am and who the rest of my family is today. People often ask me if I used Ancestry.com to make the tree, but that is only one source in my system. I found a website called Find a Grave that provided me with their birthdates, death dates, relatives, and sometimes gravestones depending on if there was a picture of them. I also use websites such as Ancestry, Geni, WikiTree, and the app Family Tree.


    With my tree in place, I began looking forward to family gatherings. I still struggle with talking to people and it’s not always fun, but I started forming relationships that I didn’t have before. Since I started the tree in 2020 I’ve been able to find thousands of relatives that go back many generations, the earliest dating to the 1600s.


    In addition to the tree, through this process I also found out that people use Find a Grave to put out photo requests for family gravesites that they cannot get to themselves. I decided to check out cemeteries near me where there were requests and was fascinated to learn every cemetery has Find a Grave requests. The experience is a bit like Word Finder coupled with exercise. I don’t always find the people on the request list, but I feel very accomplished when I do because it’s hard to accomplish and I like that I am helping someone connect with their relatives. 


    Additionally, after thoroughly researching my own family, I decided to look into the children of celebrities, simply because I wanted to know who was who, like with my family. I can now name the kids of any celebrity I know of, in birth order. This includes actors, singers, presidents, and athletes. I also keep track of their siblings, but that’s not as easy to find. Everyone who I share my ability with is either impressed or terrified or both. Ask me if you want to.

Monday, August 28, 2023

Sensitivity

I want to share some sensitivity issues I have and try to explain what they are about because I realize it may not be obvious. Some people call what I have “sensory integration disorder” and it is a neurological condition associated with autism. Whatever the name is, I want to do my best to explain the uncomfortable feelings I have that are not typical for most.

I would be what some might call a picky eater. I don’t tend to go for food that’s too spicy or tastes too different or sometimes it is the texture. For example, since preschool I have not liked sprinkles because to me they ruin the smoothness of ice cream and cupcakes. I tend to “go with what I know” and for that reason keep what I eat pretty consistent. I have made an effort in recent years to try new things, but some food simply doesn’t taste good to me. I know I am not alone with this. I have met people who didn’t expand on what they ate until their mid-twenties and there are some people without autism who agree with me on sprinkles so I know I have time to figure things out while still having my own opinion. 


Another sensitivity is touch. When someone touches my body it can really bother me, especially if it is unexpected like a surprise hug. Sometimes when I am touched I often rub at the spot to make the feeling of being touched go away because it can leave an additional feeling on my body that I didn’t want in the first place. Some things simply don’t feel good to me, like certain fabrics and metal which can feel sweaty and dirty. My mom would use a special brush on my arms and legs when I was younger (and even once and a while now) and that would help make me less sensitive as well as be soothing. 


Some people may think I am rigid or closed off because of my sensitivities. I know myself how I feel and I am okay with staying guarded to avert the uncomfortable feelings that sensory integration disorder brings. 


Friday, March 24, 2023

Days


    Schedules are important to me and can make me feel comfortable. I’ve felt like I have developed a pattern when it comes to days that both creates some flexibility, but also can give me what I need. For example, my dinner schedule has changed throughout the years, but sometimes I still like to have the same dinner on certain days as a reminder of what day it is, such as pizza on Fridays. I can definitely tell what day it is without my dinner schedule and I’m open to a change in plans based on what I have going on, but I do like to plan that out and make switches in advance so I know what to expect.

    At school, some classes I only have on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and other classes I have Tuesdays and Thursdays. Friday lets me know that the weekend is coming, but sometimes there’s no school on Monday and then it still feels like the weekend. However, I am quickly able to adapt to how the next day is Tuesday.

    When I’m in a certain mood, I feel like that mood will change once it’s the next day. There’s only so much a person can do in one day. When I’m on a plane ride late at night where I can’t get any sleep it feels like the previous day is still happening even though it is the next day. If I’m worried about something as I go to sleep, I know my dreams will help distract my thoughts and help reset my mind so I can move into the next day fresh. Schedules can be powerful and positive. Days provide me with structure and they help set my mood for what I am going to do.

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

Accommodations

I was fortunate to attend Canton Public Schools where there was a team of teachers, aides, speech therapists, special ed directors, and coordinators who supported me from a little kid to when I graduated. My success was their goal. 

Today I attend a Massachusetts State University where there is an accommodations office that helps me organize my accommodations and it is on me to share with my professors and ensure that they deliver.  The support is there and the idea of inclusion is there, but I feel the burden shift to me. Being a self advocate is hard, especially for someone who has communication gaps in the first place.

I am fortunate to have several work opportunities at some great companies including Target, Teladoc Health, and Boston Medical Center. They make efforts to include me and work with my differences and care about learning how to support me.

As I look for new work options, I see my experience so far with people who offer accommodations and take time to work with me is rare. Similar set ups are not only hard to find, they are extremely hard to find. 

Here lies the opportunity.  I made this video named "The Importance of Accommodations" for Teladoc Health as part of our a11y efforts to help people understand why accommodations in the workplace and accessible services and content is important from my personal perspective. I could write more, but watching it says it all. 

Friday, May 13, 2022

Sophomore Year of College


    I recently finished my sophomore year of college. In a way it was like my first year because I was living on campus for the first time. I had my own room with suite mates and we didn’t talk a lot, but we got along and there were hardly any problems with sharing a bathroom. The teachers were nice to follow the accommodations I needed for class and the Bridgewater SU Accessibility Office was also nice to adapt to the accommodations that I needed as the semesters changed. There was always one teacher who was harder to get through, and I couldn’t pick up on what they were asking to do the way they worded assignments. There also weren’t tutors available for some of my classes and when I visited the writing studio for help on writing a paper a lot of tutors didn’t give specific instructions. Overall though, I managed to get good grades.


    For a long time this year I was undecided about my major because it can be hard for me to make choices. Fortunately I made a decision, and I am going to major in communication studies, minor in criminal justice, and concentrate on marketing and I’ll tell you why. I picked criminal justice because I was very interested in forensic science in high school. I am also interested in cold cases like Jon Benet Ramsey, and I believe in justice for victims and also that everyone deserves a fair trial. I am going to take some marketing classes so that I can navigate a business option as a career, and I have heard that accessibility marketing is a growing field and something to which I could contribute.

    

    Finally, I am choosing communications as a major because I like understanding perspectives and how writers got people to listen to what they wrote by appealing to their viewers. The reason my life is going well is because people are listening to my feelings and taking the time to learn how to communicate with me in a way I understand. I want to spread that kind of understanding with more people through communication tools. Since I am through my requirements, I look forward to seeing where my major and minor choices take me next year.


Monday, May 31, 2021

College

Working with college students | Prep Success Coach

    I recently finished my first year of college at home and with online classes. It felt different that there were hours during the day where I didn’t have a class. It wasn’t the same as being in a school, specifically high school. Especially since I had to pick my own classes and my parents weren’t being sent notifications, it all went through me. It was time for me to do things on my own and while I didn’t get the same impact as students usually did, I still ended up learning things.

    I took five classes for each semester and some of them were asynchronous, which meant we didn’t communicate through video and simply had to submit our assignments. The classes also weren’t always on the same day so mostly after the afternoon I didn’t have anywhere I needed to be. During my second semester, for some classes I was allowed to retake an assignment as many times as I wanted until I got 100% before the due date. Therefore, I didn’t feel as much weight on myself as I should have had until finals. I got nervous, but I couldn’t keep depending on my family for help so I needed to focus on what I learned. Being at home did prevent me from feeling confined in a room like at high school. At home I have the option to pace when I want and while my teachers received my accommodations at college, it was tough not being able to communicate with them directly so I plan on making things different by living at college in the fall.

    I got accepted into the honors program and was glad I did it. I liked my small honors classes and participating in special honors events online. It was nice being accepted for my accomplishments by getting into the honors program and I made the Dean’s list in college for my grades. I didn’t get much of a chance to make friends, but it’s okay because staying at home allowed me to know about college before actually going. I still need my space so I got myself a single and a suite where three girls are staying in the other rooms. My college year was interesting because I did have plenty of good moments. In the fall I’m going to learn what it’s like actually being there.

Wednesday, January 6, 2021

You Are Important

Update: I spent my freshman year for college at Bridgewater State University. Life really can be distracting like how I haven't written these past couple months. Truthfully, it's not that simple coming up with ideas and I felt like I needed to focus on myself. I got As in my classes this semester and in my honor's class my teacher liked the essay I had to write about something I believed in. I feel like sharing it.


You Are Important


I have wondered if I have had the right to complain or be scared.


I stressed out when it came to studying at school and I thought about how it’s the least of other kids’ worries who got hurt in an accident or have complicated relationships with their families. I also worry about what my career will be in life, but there are kids who don’t even have that chance because they are poor in third world countries. Having less serious problems than others shouldn’t mean that your problems don’t matter.

 

I grew in a loving and supportive family and there was never any event that severely scarred anyone. Sometimes, the only thing stopping me can be my lack of confidence. I worried myself over how I couldn’t get through things, but then I felt alone because my lack of confidence existed in me and it felt like no one could understand how things are hard in my mind.

 

I also thought for some reason having nothing big happen to me meant there was nothing special about me. Ironic, considering how some people wish to be “normal”, but can’t. However, people are impressed when people able to overcome such a huge struggle and it leads to students getting accepted into college because they wrote an essay about their struggles.

 

I have autism and I’m encouraged to believe I can accomplish anything because the world is hiring more autistic people. The thing is though, it’s not as serious as you might be thinking, but it is still a problem for me. Maybe the people who have it worse think that way too about the people worse than them.

 

It can be hard to tell how much your worrying is justified. It shouldn’t have to be that way because it ends up creating more anxiety. I worried about my college essay, but I read another kid’s essay and saw he was able to make an interesting story simply by the fact that he built robots in his garage. I wrote about how I became someone who volunteered and cared for people after not being so active when I was kid and I got accepted into Bridgewater State University.

 

I realized I didn’t have to be have a tragic backstory to be interesting. I have skills to offer and still know what it means to persevere. I’m being given options for a career and am currently looking into job internships.

 

When I think of the kid who built robots in his garage I think of other kids who can turn what seems ordinary into something extraordinary. There could be tons of them and they don’t see the potential they have. Nobody should let an experience get in the way of what they do. Whether it’s a big or small one. I believe if that were to happen people would begin to realize their importance and do great things.