tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79246543752232300142024-03-14T01:21:13.517-07:00A Peek InsideMarisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-4965549805834052962024-01-16T15:32:00.000-08:002024-01-16T15:33:58.177-08:00Geneaology<span id="docs-internal-guid-52d4c8f9-7fff-289d-fde5-538764b60dd8"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-4639e725-7fff-2b8f-2937-282297472aab" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span> </span>I want to share a new hobby of mine, because I think it is interesting to know how hobbies arise. Whenever I went to family gatherings I was always confused over who was who, and I didn’t understand why we had to take hour-long drives to see people we only saw a few times. Then when the pandemic happened, I was looking for something to do while I was inside the house and I started thinking about my family members. Learning their names and how we were related made our connection feel important. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span> </span>I decided I should make a digital family tree of sorts so I’d have a list to refer to help me understand connections. As I built the tree, I became interested in learning about my ancestors, realizing they helped shape who I am and who the rest of my family is today. People often ask me if I used Ancestry.com to make the tree, but that is only one source in my system. I found a website called Find a Grave that provided me with their birthdates, death dates, relatives, and sometimes gravestones depending on if there was a picture of them. I also use websites such as Ancestry, Geni, WikiTree, and the app Family Tree.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span> </span>With my tree in place, I began looking forward to family gatherings. I still struggle with talking to people and it’s not always fun, but I started forming relationships that I didn’t have before. Since I started the tree in 2020 I’ve been able to find thousands of relatives that go back many generations, the earliest dating to the 1600s.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span> </span>In addition to the tree, through this process I also found out that people use Find a Grave to put out photo requests for family gravesites that they cannot get to themselves. I decided to check out cemeteries near me where there were requests and was fascinated to learn every cemetery has Find a Grave requests. The experience is a bit like Word Finder coupled with exercise. I don’t always find the people on the request list, but I feel very accomplished when I do because it’s hard to accomplish and I like that I am helping someone connect with their relatives. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.8; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span> </span>Additionally, after thoroughly researching my own family, I decided to look into the children of celebrities, simply because I wanted to know who was who, like with my family. I can now name the kids of any celebrity I know of, in birth order. This includes actors, singers, presidents, and athletes. I also keep track of their siblings, but that’s not as easy to find. Everyone who I share my ability with is either impressed or terrified or both. Ask me if you want to.</span></p></span>Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-14042052932494651912023-08-28T18:02:00.001-07:002023-08-29T17:53:53.290-07:00Sensitivity<p><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I want to share some sensitivity issues I have and try to explain what they are about because I realize it may not be obvious. Some people call what I have “sensory integration disorder” and it is a neurological condition associated with autism. Whatever the name is, I want to do my best to explain the uncomfortable feelings I have that are not typical for most.</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-bc35b314-7fff-96de-55a0-b7384bbb9767"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I would be what some might call a picky eater. I don’t tend to go for food that’s too spicy or tastes too different or sometimes it is the texture. For example, since preschool I have not liked sprinkles because to me they ruin the smoothness of ice cream and cupcakes. I tend to “go with what I know” and for that reason keep what I eat pretty consistent. I have made an effort in recent years to try new things, but some food simply doesn’t taste good to me. I know I am not alone with this. I have met people who didn’t expand on what they ate until their mid-twenties and there are some people without autism who agree with me on sprinkles so I know I have time to figure things out while still having my own opinion. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Another sensitivity is touch. When someone touches my body it can really bother me, especially if it is unexpected like a surprise hug. Sometimes when I am touched I often rub at the spot to make the feeling of being touched go away because it can leave an additional feeling on my body that I didn’t want in the first place. Some things simply don’t feel good to me, like certain fabrics and metal which can feel sweaty and dirty. My mom would use a special brush on my arms and legs when I was younger (and even once and a while now) and that would help make me less sensitive as well as be soothing. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Some people may think I am rigid or closed off because of my sensitivities. I know myself how I feel and I am okay with staying guarded to avert the uncomfortable feelings that sensory integration disorder brings. </span></p><br /></span>Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-7758517386430315392023-03-24T14:16:00.000-07:002023-03-24T14:16:34.257-07:00Days<div><br /></div><span> </span>Schedules are important to me and can make me feel comfortable. I’ve felt like I have developed a pattern when it comes to days that both creates some flexibility, but also can give me what I need. For example, my dinner schedule has changed throughout the years, but sometimes I still like to have the same dinner on certain days as a reminder of what day it is, such as pizza on Fridays. I can definitely tell what day it is without my dinner schedule and I’m open to a change in plans based on what I have going on, but I do like to plan that out and make switches in advance so I know what to expect.<br /><br /><span> </span>At school, some classes I only have on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and other classes I have Tuesdays and Thursdays. Friday lets me know that the weekend is coming, but sometimes there’s no school on Monday and then it still feels like the weekend. However, I am quickly able to adapt to how the next day is Tuesday.<br /><br /><span> </span>When I’m in a certain mood, I feel like that mood will change once it’s the next day. There’s only so much a person can do in one day. When I’m on a plane ride late at night where I can’t get any sleep it feels like the previous day is still happening even though it is the next day. If I’m worried about something as I go to sleep, I know my dreams will help distract my thoughts and help reset my mind so I can move into the next day fresh. Schedules can be powerful and positive. Days provide me with structure and they help set my mood for what I am going to do.<span id="docs-internal-guid-09e65066-7fff-e236-4947-ddc35f52c092"><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-28977203000332111482023-01-17T08:21:00.004-08:002023-01-17T08:21:56.701-08:00Accommodations <p>I was fortunate to attend Canton Public Schools where there was a team of teachers, aides, speech therapists, special ed directors, and coordinators who supported me from a little kid to when I graduated. My success was their goal. </p><p>Today I attend a Massachusetts State University where there is an accommodations office that helps me organize my accommodations and it is on me to share with my professors and ensure that they deliver. The support is there and the idea of inclusion is there, but I feel the burden shift to me. Being a self advocate is hard, especially for someone who has communication gaps in the first place.</p><p>I am fortunate to have several work opportunities at some great companies including Target, Teladoc Health, and Boston Medical Center. They make efforts to include me and work with my differences and care about learning how to support me.</p><p>As I look for new work options, I see my experience so far with people who offer accommodations and take time to work with me is rare. Similar set ups are not only hard to find, they are extremely hard to find. </p><p>Here lies the opportunity. I made this video named <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJBB_M5X4zo" target="_blank">"The Importance of Accommodations"</a> for Teladoc Health as part of our a11y efforts to help people understand why accommodations in the workplace and accessible services and content is important from my personal perspective. I could write more, but watching it says it all. </p>Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-24976327607028252532022-05-13T10:20:00.001-07:002022-05-13T10:20:21.309-07:00Sophomore Year of College<span id="docs-internal-guid-2922e703-7fff-e40b-3766-ae9f45a2727a"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span> </span>I recently finished my sophomore year of college. In a way it was like my first year because I was living on campus for the first time. I had my own room with suite mates and we didn’t talk a lot, but we got along and there were hardly any problems with sharing a bathroom. The teachers were nice to follow the accommodations I needed for class and the Bridgewater SU Accessibility Office was also nice to adapt to the accommodations that I needed as the semesters changed. There was always one teacher who was harder to get through, and I couldn’t pick up on what they were asking to do the way they worded assignments. There also weren’t tutors available for some of my classes and when I visited the writing studio for help on writing a paper a lot of tutors didn’t give specific instructions. Overall though, I managed to get good grades.</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span> </span>For a long time this year I was undecided about my major because it can be hard for me to make choices. Fortunately I made a decision, and I am going to major in communication studies, minor in criminal justice, and concentrate on marketing and I’ll tell you why. I picked criminal justice because I was very interested in forensic science in high school. I am also interested in cold cases like Jon Benet Ramsey, and I believe in justice for victims and also that everyone deserves a fair trial. I am going to take some marketing classes so that I can navigate a business option as a career, and I have heard that accessibility marketing is a growing field and something to which I could contribute.</span></span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span> </span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span> </span>Finally, I am choosing communications as a major because I like understanding perspectives and how writers got people to listen to what they wrote by appealing to their viewers. The reason my life is going well is because people are listening to my feelings and taking the time to learn how to communicate with me in a way I understand. I want to spread that kind of understanding with more people through communication tools. Since I am through my requirements, I look forward to seeing where my major and minor choices take me next year.</span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-24325107886783904272021-05-31T18:54:00.000-07:002021-05-31T18:54:16.720-07:00College<p><img alt="Working with college students | Prep Success Coach" class="n3VNCb" data-noaft="1" jsaction="load:XAeZkd;" jsname="HiaYvf" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/OiHP_CX-REUqtWdfYj33a2_Mdek7Mq-sy3cvPW4ZpaXaIQJrouGaKRm7GdGaVE5QcDhzPG_3eILsVfmxkA0i0xvw59HTg4NaNLQ38KjipxJHWJzXdKXDCNXszfuWbLW198xjXSFFsSn0rWEoMQQ" style="height: 116px; margin: 38.75px 0px; width: 391px;" /></p><span> </span>I recently finished my first year of college at home and with online classes. It felt different that there were hours during the day where I didn’t have a class. It wasn’t the same as being in a school, specifically high school. Especially since I had to pick my own classes and my parents weren’t being sent notifications, it all went through me. It was time for me to do things on my own and while I didn’t get the same impact as students usually did, I still ended up learning things.<br /><br /><span> </span>I took five classes for each semester and some of them were asynchronous, which meant we didn’t communicate through video and simply had to submit our assignments. The classes also weren’t always on the same day so mostly after the afternoon I didn’t have anywhere I needed to be. During my second semester, for some classes I was allowed to retake an assignment as many times as I wanted until I got 100% before the due date. Therefore, I didn’t feel as much weight on myself as I should have had until finals. I got nervous, but I couldn’t keep depending on my family for help so I needed to focus on what I learned. Being at home did prevent me from feeling confined in a room like at high school. At home I have the option to pace when I want and while my teachers received my accommodations at college, it was tough not being able to communicate with them directly so I plan on making things different by living at college in the fall.<br /><br /><span> </span>I got accepted into the honors program and was glad I did it. I liked my small honors classes and participating in special honors events online. It was nice being accepted for my accomplishments by getting into the honors program and I made the Dean’s list in college for my grades. I didn’t get much of a chance to make friends, but it’s okay because staying at home allowed me to know about college before actually going. I still need my space so I got myself a single and a suite where three girls are staying in the other rooms. My college year was interesting because I did have plenty of good moments. In the fall I’m going to learn what it’s like actually being there.Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-31833959318075659222021-01-06T12:21:00.002-08:002021-01-06T12:21:50.951-08:00You Are Important<p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Update: I spent my freshman year for college at Bridgewater State University. Life really can be distracting like how I haven't written these past couple months. Truthfully, it's not that simple coming up with ideas and I felt like I needed to focus on myself. I got As in my classes this semester and in my honor's class my teacher liked the essay I had to write about something I believed in. I feel like sharing it.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-40f82dfb-7fff-f5a3-d91c-c546b185db91"><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><u>You Are Important</u></span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have wondered if I have had the right to complain or be scared.</span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I stressed out when it came to studying at school and I thought about how it’s the least of other kids’ worries who got hurt in an accident or have complicated relationships with their families. I also worry about what my career will be in life, but there are kids who don’t even have that chance because they are poor in third world countries. Having less serious problems than others shouldn’t mean that your problems don’t matter.</span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I grew in a loving and supportive family and there was never any event that severely scarred anyone. Sometimes, the only thing stopping me can be my lack of confidence. I worried myself over how I couldn’t get through things, but then I felt alone because my lack of confidence existed in me and it felt like no one could understand how things are hard in my mind.</span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I also thought for some reason having nothing big happen to me meant there was nothing special about me. Ironic, considering how some people wish to be “normal”, but can’t. However, people are impressed when people able to overcome such a huge struggle and it leads to students getting accepted into college because they wrote an essay about their struggles.</span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have autism and I’m encouraged to believe I can accomplish anything because the world is hiring more autistic people. The thing is though, it’s not as serious as you might be thinking, but it is still a problem for me. Maybe the people who have it worse think that way too about the people worse than them.</span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It can be hard to tell how much your worrying is justified. It shouldn’t have to be that way because it ends up creating more anxiety. I worried about my college essay, but I read another kid’s essay and saw he was able to make an interesting story simply by the fact that he built robots in his garage. I wrote about how I became someone who volunteered and cared for people after not being so active when I was kid and I got accepted into Bridgewater State University.</span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I realized I didn’t have to be have a tragic backstory to be interesting. I have skills to offer and still know what it means to persevere. I’m being given options for a career and am currently looking into job internships.</span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I think of the kid who built robots in his garage I think of other kids who can turn what seems ordinary into something extraordinary. There could be tons of them and they don’t see the potential they have. Nobody should let an experience get in the way of what they do. Whether it’s a big or small one. I believe if that were to happen people would begin to realize their importance and do great things.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p></p></span></div><p><br /><br /><br /></p>Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-48922966899567221752020-04-18T15:29:00.000-07:002020-04-18T15:29:00.985-07:00Quarantine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="about:invalid#zClosurez" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" 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vuKWRuJLjwgC9jln2qfO0gnzVR1emW09667IloMbentG2Cga4+52CCDdYWyTlYU4/TU5w+7cX+mKPcRT0sHEXPT/ALxJcj7SFNtRPYEwJIq455Ja7RepYOy36kywLFCSQyyAewPYgGAMAdxWe8e4VqrdyBZuL6ohQiztiZRhPS07ZPkir/fvLYbcFRUHYztTr2SUEbSPLCMgxHeOXiTtqLfRfFtUW4s5LdIkEGTgRkeYMYqMo5RbTa65ZRn4sXE2WtVuUBQRaVHlwPLAwvtkn8AVsnJbre07WLsFNsR/lgGT8yTUVquEC9pbH9Ruu3VG8uMAAgEgRgpKxHmszvcw3h6ipcZVLHcFgNtGNhI8DzFUR4e46cpq6v013nL89e5Pcw8OtC81iwAyKB+CYnbP4ioHSXUsXCxUqCMR2n2NcmmvPdZLlvqCH7cz7YMH27Gr9ytyuvETcW6BbRNpCjPeYzAiO0fFVYy8HQU0q97fXn5lo+levlSpLHeNw9hWi1X+WOVbWjEWyT4zVgrVVFxjhnB11sLbXKApSlWGQUpSgFKUoBSlKAUpSgFKUoBSlKAUpSgIHmrmi1okDXASW7KO9e3Q8VTWaYXNPcA3rInuPyKyf6saonVupAZVUdj2/aqF/wD1HQb0uvb7gAEgfxVDsbbR1FpIquMk+ezUlsrcv6m1qG3bOkn3kVw6rQWLKqtkEBjLMTlsQCageQ9Sy3HGpJZ7wDKGOSAP94rt5x1wDW0PSrwonwD5NWRxjJjs3xbg/J7tdf2enZeCWm4Sv2oDG3cfJ/Haa9WySsATuMg/qBIDN+xE/tXXrFIcox3KEABBMEEATHjsf2rkZGJyFO0QDJG7BkHx+4pXLdHOckbobJYxgnv6ywjLYJG1gzPO4bmO39MDapOZGSB/JuI2zZFyTtRtrC3uFrcpbfGP8TbiD3x75pPM+qCXeqBcJAVbZYBjPS3gz2wCIAX3r8s628QFe5cViCG9NgGUEdJJyCZUeMZg1D1cPk2/4CnFOt84R+8x8XV71vOB9qr7zB3KQApKliBMDJnvXbwuwA+d677dxetlVWAEnaoU9MZHackVU72rZbtxXc7w6+o56iUBBBkYmABnB3R5xP8ALyf1DObKIMEK91nuOzEoRM/9O2rLO7vIWO9W5Rz3GUXjyjq1XDQqh9O/rgkoAPLDJmDkDa0kHupHkxzcIsi3cBuBkuuwZ3CGF7yzzAb9XSsjHaRVh4lq7DWV9UtcT7zOTcJIWQMd7ikgiFJWe0V6NJeRxbd1t9BBMJclAPUwJP8AhnxBqqVP/U6NX2i8r1Vn3JDQ8JsNetXiCx0++2u7ao3N/cBgKMEtcI+Gk+BTWW53X7Vrc4ZbjM/qiA4tq5tkjaSgVidogBSR2rqs3raOttUAtuzrtcIwF1wXKkTuAbdMDHS+e0T/AAzU+qi2nBVcgEyjNtba3SSWyhyZwsgZyJvdwkc9OPbKzzHp7iEtcZfSObcAkFj2Lz2YeBBBmqbpLyo49FRu6m3uW2lju3FVHTBhsQMQK0dNPdNtptlCd6bS5J6IRVXvu3EnqY57+YFT41y8wuO6wX3BVDfZbQgQbhJhWHWMDx28141JR75LaXX6q3r4Ts0nOeoQWU9C23TAG5utwuBuwFmBHT8e8dX0+0w1upuXL9q26MD6im2oCNPjHke8mqTauXR98P1f23JUW9oAyCNoJyPM5P4Op/SnSC3aaUIZzvLiPTYMThSO+07sZgRVMXKUkmdW2FVVUp1rxgheaPpuDqA/DraqASblvcwXMQVHbGcYrQuT+XxpLQBJLsBvziR7VUeK8/JodZetuhcGCI8VG3vq9cclbVkLOFYnsT2qz4VLLMMfXsqVcen+psFKpP0+5iv3t9rVwbi9QI8g1dqsjJSWUZLqZVS2z7FKUqRUKUpQClKUApSlAKUpQClKUApSlAKUpQFF585R093dqrtw2wqdWME+Cax/XaC1tVjcW6GaBtxtHuR71uX1Iss+guqq7pGfgeTXz4BblSDAQ5rPakmdnROUq+Xxno6dVdXcGW6wNskhgB0mIBPf8Zx3qM4zr7l/rvXFKgAKF8x5x5nNTtjSl7eYFufMDeD5P/PvXR/8e9XbvhQshdsZGMmoVNvhF2sVeN88ZOXk3iYZNjMTkjJkx4qynrXDL2BDCJBEy38gVHcE5cRbg2YwSDHeujhV64d6um0qzbSowYMZB7GZ/NaVNbtvk4jhJx3+MnFxC0t68VRUKNAVlMw0SYLDME+MCK91rRuv/VhbpVd6rO0kkxB85BwJ7967dLFy3bUn02kwyE/duZnUCchjJIJxI8V0vp9zMIPV9pJCbj3jdPgmR57YqCqWcs1vXzUVGHHGCsLb2tctMFZdTKs0HfKjdtIxI25x7L3qZ4RqLNmybTKNjmHj9RJlbf2+T+omInzXk+mW6QCHDA3Nu2GiCbZO8bYPcwV7DviofUaB7W1GZWFsnaxLA+oevc2PG4kMO0j2pOEEste5XVK22ahnvj8uy33tEgsrbFm2E7vtIgfhsHduyOn7TVb4rrtphmZo/WQFgZLFc5G39gSMYg/mldmVbYZkQkNcZSBuIMwMSdwWD/yARXVr+GlVdyCfTYBiVvtCwVATdi7dNwf9okE+9e12KaPdXpXRJeU/JXG46Z3W9hMEozDqZ3J6zmJgEAexHacS+h4/qLJINwXHuMHkbhtCgrEbtpQAnoODIPevJOUwumsNqOhmVU3OQhA2G4VVRlu4AEe5IAFRCFgwW10svShnDr2mcZJgk9wZ/eNsmui7QVQm25LJqXBuIm6gJZGublS+xjcVgldomEafceT5E1w8a4jbgW7pBRi9y4SARDE7QMdoOMVV+A8XuFYNpUQ9MGd7RO8rGIO7vMZ75qH5z1Ttd9FDA2mY8Qf+e1ewnmOH4I6vTuNilWuJdF74Pb0/EtIbCK1lrF2UhR0zuVRknAQkfEg+K0fgnDFsW7dtJK2wVEn5JOPye9fNPBuYdZY6bepNtfkAgn/8yT371tPKf1BtbVTX3ER9ikXTAW4WLgAgDDQoMxBnxFeQ2xeBbXdKDfjjP4/MqH1G4Gjay85vIMAkMc+cVUk0qAlUIYoQQR9tSH1B0GofV3rjWyFdsMRjb+mD7f8AmovlnhLC8tu527j5queOWb9OpfDHHGDY/plpbpPrXFEFYBFaJXBwTSLasIiiAFH8131dXHbHBytZf61zl+X/AIKUpVhlFKUoBSlKAUpSgFKUoBSlKAUpSgFKUoDn1+jW7ba24lWEGvnPiWiW1eurtG225gfj3r6UrEvqlyw9m416yjujAs7DMH8VTbFvo6P2fdGDcZeTP+L8WN5uojaRgLgVY+R+IF7OxzLL59xVb4JwV9Tbv3hhbABaa9vLV4W7q9QCkmSfFeQ+FktRF2xyvBoEGZUxnHuD5/Y143RuW4hUww8dz3zPbvUTpeP27l0WbbST5HbGan7RBJgCQM9+9WPbL4WYkrILeuCKex6bNsWS53GcdUEA+YBAjAqLv8Xa1ui3vNvazAsFEAS6kxJgn2n+Kseturatm65UbAYkxuwYXPkmBVKB3WmYvtVyZYxI9wBEdvOcfzUbJ7ejRotKrsuXSJe3zGwsgrp1DsWFpRLD1AuDBO49O6Y7mOwrh4yblzcD1KpIfaFCg43EbRtAXbH4kmK6uHL6iG3pui8CIe4IZVna9y3OO3dl8Me2K83tLYtstkubJZrh9OD6m8hVtbiJCkAycHMV4k5x5JylDTXPas8HJpuCXmlbgZkBH9OmAG7+dpUgZ6jOAMTFXDhdx0VmdiLrFNrdUBV27s46emBPb5gVFI7CxE3FRyCpbZuK/Y1sAdogEsckEEk1H8Y4s62XIYkiMgn/ABTtJ7z4/ekIr7yZG/VSlF1yj+6/vRfbfB1eyvq21SybxbaWLND4EEbdkk/d+fgV+f8Aw3TDYAjEo87iymRG1xdwP7Z3DAyYXKwazvUc06i4fTM3AACiz0gqQSM+Z/2qa5S5x1JuMmoZT0NtJO0BvuCu2ekkxJON1eL5WYyRqjfsbryl+xctRwm1b3MiBRtQKu0QCx7A5yZ98QIrl0nKCdTXOtpBOBn/ACwcbKkRpjdNsrdZUt59MAmWIBUljmAZAqD4/wAw3LFq80gneEtIJLFckk/Mk/xU92HjBVhyjly68FK525f01nVizpztQoGYdTC2xLEknMDCwIipblnlp9VdVHAS2rIxYL920EBfIA8z37Y8mi2+bHF5nu2VckjDFgQB4Pg/uKu3LH1Cu6dmvXbQFt2BZFHYNgMKonF7vY6tNq9BqP3sGxce4IL+kfTrAldqkiYjtUJyfyULADagK9wdj7VM8B5o0+r/AOk/VE7Tg1N1o2xeGcv1rqlKHWexSlKmZhSlKAUpSgFKUoBSlKAUpSgFKUoBSlKAUpSgFeF22GBVgCD3B8150oCvcV0VnSaTUPZ06npLMgH3RXzrrrC3CWEdZLN7KO8D8dq+pdXpxcRkbswIP71jPMf0t1KrcNl/UQZRRhv/AHVNkXxg6OitglJT7ZnXLHA9Rdvf/XkG2ZDAdjmBVz4ZqLtm2/rCbwbsTE/NWD6ZPc4dpNVc1dtgiMu2R1Fjg/tNVvmHmNNQR6dog3SRBGV/cVXJ9FsKpTk8LhfPrP8AGTz1V3TapVt3Lu25PYNHgyM4P71+aLli0oD3ElhOZBkeJxAOPH81XrXL+68hGQx2geJGZ/MVL2U1Fu41tkdyTKAHEe9TTjPlkLY26bEF9CSs2LaMDvbcpMDHTIIIEARgnxnJySTXv0nGktAgqrLbxLd5JVvb7QP5ru4fwj1Ft72lnkzGTGf2g4qL564dasaXcX/uO8bFzuA+4djEKZqcdqjmJRZK26xRt7XB7+Hcb0+pfYbjdIG2VABO6GAjMTtPz+1ezW8KH9QVRXPWBJ+yT5/zDB/Bqqcv2RYuWXXb6hZmUGSCNv8AsM/yK1vSacD0i94synePEkjJ9oExFQrcW2y3VUzrjGPafPvkqXMnALWnsm5G0kBrZBA6i0EZ7gzP4qj8PtnY6M/UwO5+3ppPVJ8mMfj5rQOddNbvIC18LtdujuDuiT3xEf61zcn8t6PUXXtPeF4AKQAxBnEkx5ke8GM5iI2JykadJZGurl888ckhyJza+oi2bDIdrbWJJ9QLt6mBHSYIjJnPaKs2j5XFy4Ll4SAZA+a9lg6HSMbdnYLir9oiY+T3IxUhypxpdTbNzcA0kFJGIxVkZ4e3yYb692bYrj38syv6t8jWdOy6mwDN14df0gx49piq7f04uWlBTb/bgAt53A+PAg/zW7838tJrraI5jY4YGqrd+ndzKrcUpOMZAqu2Ms8I3/Z99Ma2rJYZC/SrTNc1ju/T6YgAe3itjqE5c5dt6VTty5+5vepurao7VyYNberbcx6QpSlWGMUpSgFKUoBSlKAUpSgFKUoBSlKAUpSgFKUoBSlKAUpSgOXiOhS9ba1dUMjiCKxPj3KVzREtcZRaLxbUSWjwT2MRg1u1Zr9X+W7l5F1Ftj/bHUo9vcVVbDKN2gvddmPDMx4jxBlUukrnBjbgew/euvg/Or2km4nqMR0Me495qt6u7dLbHDQowDWx8F5d0lzg6NqFCdJO8jINUwjxg6GqtjJqUvwK9oOd7U22dSNuMD371X+L379+691FY2bcxEEJ/mI+fP7VB6xkW6RbINsHB94rRfo+oa/cWdysp3A9j8V623iJ5CuFalb2yr67gWp2gbWRSqs11iJKwCUGekA4/btFXrknhN24hHqSFJ2bjuhPEnyf/VRH1o40Uu29KnTbCy+39U+DXR9HuK/3CLl3apWEQ9iagoSTw+hZaraXPHPaPfz/AMprZ0zOVa67FiSOyn3PwKybhura1eVkaGKkd4r6A+qFnVPp1TSztckXYEnbGKx3Sct3N8myzNbncsHI96sniLwiGjU5wUm/J6eIWLlyJYq5SWPk/k11cv6LU3dTbXTllEDIMfmRUhqdBdukhBLFDtAGQK1D6b8sDS6dWuD+6wzPiq605GzWzhSm2WzR22VFDmWAEn5r30pW0+aby8ilKUPBSlKAUpSgFKUoBSlKAUpSgFKUoBSlKAUpSgFKUoBSlKAUpSgFfjqCIIkGv2lARN7lvSs5uNZUsfMV5cX4Hav6dtMRtQiBHipSlebUT9WfHPRgHGvpjqUuFEG62OoMPI9quf0y5Yuady7gr0QCfJNaZX5FVqpZya3rpODjhZfGTE+bORtUbvqPN0s/f48Co3gfIWsu3ySDbFtsTj9xW/RSK89L3Jf8hLaltR6NDZKW1VjJUAE+9e30Vydoz3xXnSrsGBybeTkscMtI25EAPuK66UrxLB7KTl28ilKV6RFKUoBSlKAUpSgFKUoBSlKAUpSgP//Z" 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How am I doing with the COVID-19? Mostly, I’m annoyed that everyone keeps talking about it. The people in my life are okay, but I miss going to restaurants and getting to see some people. My dad’s too afraid of getting me sick so I’ve been staying with my mom since schools were closed.<br /><br /> My education has become weekly assignments on computers. I’ve been staring at computers longer than I ever have in my life. I get distracted, but in a classroom I have nothing else to do, but finish my work. I manage to get it done though because I care about my grades. It’s also only the first week of assignments that aren’t optional so I’m still getting used to it. <br /><br /> Being inside isn’t too bad. I was like this before because I don’t socialize much. This saved me from buying a dress I would only wear once to prom. Dances can be a bit much for me because I don’t like the loud music and I’m too shy to talk to anyone. It sucks however that I don’t know what’s going with graduation. That’s a big moment in everyone’s life, but the virus has left the world frozen with things being canceled. If it weren’t for the fact that I had different meal plans each day I would probably forget what day it was. <br /><br /> I do a lot of things to distract me since I only leave the house once a day now and sometimes it’s only for walks because there’s no other plans. I feel like I’m handling well compared to other people. Most people are really overwhelmed, but I don’t let it get to me as much. I know this will end soon and until then I’m surviving.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-48581076204720960242020-03-16T18:27:00.000-07:002020-03-16T18:27:00.808-07:00Feelings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="about:invalid#zClosurez" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for conflicted feelings" border="0" class="rg_i Q4LuWd tx8vtf" data-atf="true" data-deferred="1" data-iml="139.54000000376254" jsname="Q4LuWd" 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" 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<br /> I’m sorry that I have been absent for a long time. I’ve had a lot going on and to be honest the longer I put off writing the harder it was to come back and actually do it. I don’t like to talk about the same things in my posts and it was hard for me to write everything like it was a problem. When I think about what to write, I guess I want to sound like the person who gets through problems, but I worried that writing about the small stuff would sound silly when everyone has those thoughts. <br /><br /> Confrontation can be scary for me so I try to ignore it by thinking of something else, but it gets more and more in my head how I might be letting viewers down even if not a lot of people read this. Some people think it’s amazing I’m doing this and I shouldn’t stop. I agree, but I’ve had problems where my anxiety makes me worry how a story I’m writing is unoriginal or uninteresting. I want to get through things that are hard for me, but that doesn’t mean they're still not hard. <br /><br /> As for what’s been happening with me, I got accepted into Bridgewater State University! I feel so proud of myself and I would like to use it as a chance to explore new things. I’m thinking of living there, having a roommate. I want to try socializing and going out so I can have fun while heading for the future. I’m nervous, but I need to go for it like I’m doing with this blog. <span id="docs-internal-guid-e7515006-7fff-8d11-4baf-c2e34b19ae69"><div>
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</span>Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-81851675470563351072019-10-19T10:22:00.000-07:002019-10-19T10:22:05.104-07:00My Fault<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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<br />I have a hard time admitting that things are my fault. When people get upset with me, I tell them that there were things they could have done to prevent something from happening. I don’t like feeling completely responsible for something bad. Like sometimes I forget to do something because I prefer thinking about something else. Maybe I’m worried I’ll be told to stop daydreaming. It’s hard for me though because there is other stuff I really don’t like thinking about or actually doing. <br /><br />There are things I do take responsibility for, such as the mistakes I made when I was a kid. I wonder though if those mistakes count because I didn’t know what I was doing back then. I also take responsibility now by doing chores around the house. I don’t like hearing anything about me being lazy, because while it was kind of true, it bothered me a bit that I could be wrong. Another example is when I get into arguments with people, I wonder if they are right and that’s it my fault for not seeing things their way.<br /><br />I know no one is perfect, but I still feel like there’s something wrong with me if there are things I can’t do well that others can. I need to be realistic though and learn from my mistakes so I’ll stop making them. If something’s my fault I need to accept it and move on. I have to so I can realize that a mistake is a mistake and that there is nothing wrong with me overall.<br />
Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-84708186195099955112019-09-02T15:25:00.001-07:002019-09-02T15:25:29.217-07:00Boston College<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />This summer I went to camp for a week at Boston College from July 21 to July 26. It was supposed to help me get a taste of college life before I went to college. I was hoping it would be helpful in making decisions for my future. <br /><br />The place was okay. The first few days we had meetings and they were about stuff I kind of already know such as relationships and being healthy. There were fun things like we went bowling on Wednesday and did an escape room on Thursday, but because the meetings were at the same rooms, I was already tired of being in the same place I’d been at all week. <br /><br />I felt uncomfortable sleeping in a high bed in my dorm room and worried I would fall off until I got used to it, but the bed sheets weren’t enough and it left me cold so I had to get more. The food was nice. I tried eating different things, but it was hard to choose from their menu when they didn’t have every kind of breakfast and I am a picky eater. I don’t need too much lunch so I had chips and dinner consisted of pizza, burgers, and chicken. I one time walked to a restaurant that wasn’t far from the college by myself and I felt good about it. <br /><br />My roommate was a very nice girl and we had stuff to talk about. She already knew she was going to college in the fall. The other girls at camp were older or were working there. The boys I didn’t spend much time with because they didn’t look like cared or that they wanted to do other things. <br /><br />The people at the camp at Boston College were on the spectrum like me. They mostly seemed typical, but there were things that made them different that stood out to me. It’s hard to find friends when at times you’re too "on the spectrum" to be normal and too normal to be "on the spectrum." The people working there were really nice and supportive so I did enjoy being around them.<br /><br />There were different things we got to practice to prepare for college. I didn’t get to learn to do the laundry because I got a bag to put my dirty clothes in while I was on trips. That’s one example I can think of for how I’m worried there’s still stuff I haven’t prepared for. The college camp was an experience for me and it gave me an idea of things I want to learn to do. I didn’t figure everything out there, but it helped get me further and I would recommend people to go if they wanted to go. Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-84061990301222228912019-05-28T18:12:00.000-07:002019-05-28T18:12:48.505-07:00Acting<div style="text-align: center;">
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I don’t desire to be in a movie, a TV show, or even a play, but I do think acting can be fun. I have a difficulty thinking of the right words to say generally, but with acting everything is written out for me. My shyness can stop me from talking to people to avoid sounding stupid. Except I regret not trying to start a conversation. Through acting I feel confident in myself and am able to make myself noticeable.</div>
<br /> For example, my English teacher had the class read an assigned book together out loud. My teacher really liked how well I read because I imagined how the characters would sound and spoke like them with their emotions. Another example is that I briefly took some acting classes in Boston. We were instructed to speak lines from scenes and because I know exactly what to say and how to feel I believed I did a good performance even before the teacher could tell me I did. <br /><br /> Also, acting helps me practice how to talk to people. That is why occasionally I like to practice it even though I don’t expect to become famous or make a career out of it. Acting helps with my speech and it gives me ideas of things I should say. I feel better about myself and am encouraged to say what’s on my mind the next time I have the chance.Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-55909405341388737642019-04-15T17:37:00.002-07:002019-04-15T17:37:52.044-07:00School Assignments<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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School can be pretty tricky at times with my autism, especially when it comes to assignments. For example, I can have a hard time figuring out exactly what a teacher is trying to assign. When they talk to the whole class I can miss key parts of what I am supposed to do because I don’t hear all of what they are saying. I can also get a little distracted sometimes if I’m either tired, bored, or wanting to be somewhere else. When I am distracted I miss a few things.</div>
<br /> I get another teacher in class to help me if I need it when there is one available. The assignments on papers can mean different things to me so I ask the other teacher to clarify it. I like it when the teachers talk to me so I understand them best, which can mean talking slowly or repeating things.<br /><br /> I feel it is better for me if things are explained simpler. I used to get low grades in one of my classes because I didn’t understand how much I had to write about the answer. At first the teacher told me I wasn’t writing enough. On the next test I wrote as much as I possibly could. The teacher realized the questions needed to be separated to give me the right size of empty space for the amount of a response I needed. This approach helped improve my grades. <br /><br /> Also, when I have trouble understanding I then start to worry, which adds to the problem. When a grade isn’t as great as it could be I worry about what I am doing wrong. I know that I need to pay attention and work hard to get good grades, but I can use extra help when I get anxious about finishing my work and figuring out how to do it.<br /><br /> Sometimes I wonder if I’m being treated too easily compared to other students. I want to be able to face challenges, but my autism creates a need to take more time to realize and process stuff. I don’t want my autism to define me, but I accept that it’s a part of me so I can both work hard and get extra help to pass school assignments and reach my goals. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-4230585752467079202019-03-10T17:24:00.001-07:002019-03-10T17:25:10.549-07:00Pacing<div style="text-align: center;">
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Many people pace when they are anxious because moving helps them relieve stress. Some people don’t even realize why they are doing it. I don’t pace because I’m nervous. I pace because I like it. <br />
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When I pace I like to think about things that make me happy, but I won’t say what it is because it feels better for it be my own private thing. I put my headphones on so I can walk around and listen to music, but it feels awkward if someone is watching me. That’s why I only do it when no one is home or I’m in my room. I also wait for when someone is going into another room and won’t be back for a while. </div>
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I think I might pace sometimes when I’m nervous because I want to take a break from the stress of life by going to my happy place. It reminds me that things will okay even if they don’t seem that way.</div>
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Sometimes pacing works when I’m bored and other times it doesn’t. It either kills time or makes me tired. I feel good when I pace for fun and that’s why I do it almost every day. I look forward to when I can do it again.</div>
Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-42250286665027126992019-02-17T08:40:00.001-08:002019-02-17T08:40:53.769-08:00Even vs. Odd Numbers<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />I like even numbers better than odd numbers.<div>
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<a href="https://www.onlinemathlearning.com/image-files/even-odd.png"><img border="0" height="193" src="https://www.onlinemathlearning.com/image-files/even-odd.png" width="320" /></a><br /><br />EVEN NUMBERS ARE PRETTIER AND SOUND BETTER<br />I think numbers like 2, 4, and 6 are prettier and sound better than 3, 5, and 7. When I count with odd numbers I feel bad that one number is left out while the others have a pair. <br /><br />MATH CLASS<br />I struggle in math class because it’s hard for me to take notes and pay attention at the same time. I was told when I was little that for even numbers the last number for every equation always ends in 2, 4, 6, 8, or 0. I use it to help me with math problems, but I wasn’t told that with odd numbers, so to me 3, 5, 7, and 9 sound different. Meaning odd numbers feels like a new topic rather than something familiar. I also don’t like how when I divide numbers there are some that are left with a remainder because then the equation doesn’t feel neat and complete. Remainders feel like more work and they make math class much harder.<br /><br /><div>
HOW I PLAY WITH NUMBERS<br />Sometimes when I am lying in my bed I count the tiles on the ceiling or when I am walking I count the tiles on the floor. There might not be anything else to do, so playing with the tiles is an interesting game for me. When I do this I like to skip each tile and hope they end on an even number. If it didn’t have an even number, then I would check to see if the tile at the end was smaller than the others and not count it so it would be even. If there is no small tile, I accept it because games are fun if there’s a possibility of winning or losing.<br /><br />CONCLUSION<br />I really don’t have anything against odd numbers, I simply prefer even numbers when given the choice. Even numbers make me feel better because they work out more nicely and give me a sense of satisfaction and control.</div>
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Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-41897807400222604052019-01-21T15:37:00.003-08:002019-01-21T15:37:48.716-08:00Expectations<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /><br /> I have planted it in my head that there are certain occasions that have to be perfect. People make a big deal about holidays and birthdays, which I had believed meant I was supposed to happy throughout those days and nothing could wrong. However, that only meant I would get stressed by having to make those days perfect, and I am relieved when it’s the day after. For example, on birthdays supposedly nothing will annoy me and I will have a nice party with cake and presents. I can’t control what will come to annoy me though and people keep asking me what I want for presents, which is hard for me because I don’t ask for much. That’s a topic for another time. It’s the same thing with Christmas. I know it’s not what they’re all about, but it feels right because it’s usually traditional to have presents on Christmas and birthdays.<br /> I also expect places to look how I picture them in my head because people described them as being so nice. I have a fantasy world where I see all the details of places, and I’d expect every one of those details to be the same when I actually see the place. For example, I will imagine red bricks on a wall in a building I am going to be inside. If the building doesn’t actually have red brick walls when I get there, I’m a little disappointed to see it looks different. Another example is vacations. I see advertisements with clear and bright blue skies, and if I arrive and see some dark clouds, it feels like a lie.<br /> I know perfectly accurate expectations aren’t possible, but I like to hope they will be. I realize I need to understand reality and opinions are two different things. My problem is learning to hear about something and not build a picture of it so beautiful that it can’t actually exist. Beginning to balance the description of things with the actuality of them is a very difficult task. However, if I learn to not expect too much then I can find the enjoyment of something in my own way. My goal is to check things out myself so I can have more realistic expectations and it will make it much easier to have fun with seeing places, examining things, and participating in celebrations.Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-80442603759874832302018-12-23T17:12:00.000-08:002018-12-23T17:12:28.788-08:00Distraction<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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wwdYC0w+XTtoJn7qN8BBrbenNamZVClBXWopBa4AKW7nFQBoenOVBam7W1uXCfWFgNN9mBgzN/HGGQufBWmq10+Bd3Glq0YRyHdKI1LOUjNv3I/1CIYmNJzJvBErrKi/DVJC1HYsRhAlx1nrvjE9As64DRDASZ74coY6kCI0f8UdOf6BIwx6rwteAWSYGW3HaQ2/G4SA6C6NVNuKe6Haknv7MW1SwqJksvuQqdYZ8bVruKHFijmrrI1IHRpRmttrVSbvNT3/LLWKQLMQlm8kHrsDYpnKIiwuONVp+irTN1dK0VleLfKXi3t7VdrtXp3e2unHeGI2Dg4jUE5boKYvKTY7SJWzjB++Mf2xMmCdDwSUOp78XeA2d2UulAjICJ3LQ0pAJAqlrKoSHruDt0IWa7Ivsi0qIgwQ8Eqx+8y1WG/YhVFvo/BeSm6fDF6z8Sh6PgDjJoMk3CiJOZSUv4pmfhefrAIwdS3hROP6VtKF5NH7yxe4SqaeKOJ55xs5dSa6PZS28rP2G8WA++bLbjeSBiAdvPnL+mMXt5pDNT6z8fHx0vfZjmOkCcuzYil/DZKNSAMUOEQ5QWYb6iIuqMDzqcbFn/+YujAzIWvPSRfpRRzYYZ5+S2UFwxeMMCiMVj9jRjwsX+cm8VVJdjkysdY9Pi0+kTJc2kXeUlguTdZxwJ6sISxhukGYdcqhft7obIoBuLkcKIcNOtM1JuHh82RaZ+o4Lcq9nvvAD5R63Ftrrlx1mrd7/aEYE8IH0Kg389zu/DMTPiOBZZu4P3z/lCv6zDquUYlN4HQwrqR/8MYsAcVqYmyycQW/lu3DvVupK8K9hk++eTLFaMdX5F9F6nBHhNPgMB768u+78vOu64d8d7Rzs5R1Trg2GjvaAXuaHeu93O9Pi1E7ej9zvtd68Fi796/P9pdFIFnYLCvxveJhYlqCvYlSowzA9/fhXsUBcbcyiT0aQ2ukcWSNrLh+k70VMuuloMYTVowgP3TNxrbPYAw2jc+snwXN4SBPY271C4vaHMGE90IUDahbPDWThxH738HOugF2u5Ak1vCBxjxJsXVSqUxwKYoG4baShPpk9+0g0HRKVjuURp6YfRpZtOwM1d+SvH26EmQ0YpeHtlToacuiJeIfgdjjnGDCe57pE06SPpdWhJcyQ2n6MAN7xdncAvLhaub3ePd41/XoSfp+10ox0uAO0bfR9qpBWQKTUEXNHy6hYH3EZeLAJf3Ni5Oatu3UYKeulkvQOdgJw1DqfzBwMeNILHeQbanKFocwevfpdDzOEoH7UBhiGjQI9ZIGHjRpukEjEA6ZzH0N2NAzUTEE08duq9TMPhSwoCx9Rg69UCyIj9Lk2TWBifidt0Id6kenjM22vWTMNRRMQ4DwU4VeixXaznLr44DoIj0MhfMYBAmQUPLoZb8fTBA4QN/9jUGKIuQCp/AQLCz1IbDc9GL4hRY5swXiM3I055oePBX5SU6AtRigNuEEukN6kxvSblAh7PaE5YOEonxUb8ZgwX4gZlq+5YO9D5BwCCJ6sbO0PygjAEXZ1IvPuP45Ds73232ZqMsNoB9Buc6lHWUqUDdlzEQ7A64gA6KQZmIu0IidcocBolnlsJ/LwxM2S/NBYOB0t50QXQwgQHbjIA/pVujYnPlTHYNYw8TJ77BWQGIbh/0umNzgdWiUMpiKYmdt4+2LipuLnghhk5h/V8Bg+1KjcrJ3mMMTgKQkmnsHzWreql3tlwQrOdjBERnu+9WXcYw2MR314tlVaFVQ0sHuBii3uHb/3AMPBlQiQI/Cicx4OxY6fQAceS/7+XzNFjoz2fc0w6C4Wy3O3TxeQ6D9ykG27n7SVMmx48mwEMQmHpF/o/GgLZB6DVXcvOPywUYq+tAUhKF0IuVfzivbly9TUOU/CncutM1cUsOg+VQepePQLQ8UdV24UZaoPq95MIsDHCM7eKHfIQBll4niFOdmsGL1udX382UTkKRJKlqjYjeHQa4heyzrrR+d9u6hT+tW4osIgyq/BK3dDaZ6PzBGEBjW2emYM8fYQDfar+2fNRwJegKzTlcEWocbg0ClUpcHUvSYCRKGOS4/PxZ00FXpTqJUZo5DLpgrwBf9Bvsj8YAZKPb+l+f5Il0Ey11j3p/W44w2t3P52GAVlLty5EfICtN0iO8UswFDGSxGEjaKgPq8puCDthOTErCHz4XkkCzamDjj2Sj6ZiRBvsDJITuLLaoAz3JRh5WlyRuA6EIrhJPBCWxT5V2fYApwAVN/9zRgaBN9zLqnf3RGBR6onisK++tH51pmY31g/WD1qaY6kjBi/mwYmvOcb+r2mKiwAAnnton78DwCoXxEe6v7BdzgfDy5B3oUl8Lgym68g9KStW1nayBPUAYTKuZs2aa+b5VuPgJvCl+x0p6Yg2qT6+1okXxmLizegwDwY9SXIL3vhodTLGZqsgzj2xg93dxElKQ87R3YU9gqpiEEkI0gkRnaynsBdKVr4y2CfXB5JjAgNV8ZBPh/yE64Bw3Lal1vdmriXZ01pjhSRJ8lHkyCU6YjiRcSskhI0r2wmEE0rF9woxHrvpZlumgSszkOCLL4Q/WE2djAHccANNMYv/6y5elO/QfpO9n1Qyjex2DvnX5CV0MoyVMweCfiAIDysoCIPhNDKvJuzsR6hHBGD/gPMeNar9lLvx+GLAdhUmvUqVi2hvgj2bVDLKDMoFIJY+OOgHoxaFaZ6JsNwrcEy9D5d8enbUVbddNx3kivHoftz3/0XSgpmKQEAZcDHciCvQJ0UuoktrM96CJtBdJHW0pKc5Pb5gs6ECwqzbIR9qDEFIQanTWELyMAaEuf9+50POhNN3XLfxadRgAX/e/oF2EvuFM2zSsd+Zrl7R/uTucpRwY2+BTpijND86aAPtHcwFky76+Q/SvffTRhmSG+Z0P+rGuFT9oSJ/7oELGv58vTZxXTiqVvr3A+/DtxLkIhxUoI1zEb+Ansxgi2Otuc3Nz66I2rc6JN/SbHT9QURAMdi7MmsJ2crc8sPKVsasluCMCK7VzbIImhKgOlpfbVYvv28vPy5dPGCbl8jy5QO6b0j4XImCr8pS2v3Br9zLt/2dmq8tT9VMNw1q32x3lYw9wu2RCK1f9ardb69tLnE1WbLFfsDwPA2HciLZleottadsJ/Uxe8NL6mN7is0h4A3f7t4svFIpairt3of/2BXrvv3BLS9rx+dRiTqk8CwM3pK7JmguVQeHc5CFydKD1GTHbg1QUmty6C4Sn6atw9XG9qMLsMqNplnmvjfPmxW6SRcrLuvMLBlheMHjBAMu/F4Px5ygvGLxggOUFgxeeiOUFgxcMsLxg8ARPFIXNSlYcbXrUO3znx1rqhwU3AYTaD1wET+otnWVTUth1mLLjnRtT0O37tUb64sNFTws+/4kn5IIw/9HnksE4Y41g8v1wU6X35ebmeK+bC/uMGHWr1e7IWZLVerVbQeuwUq3Wu84hg5BX6nCp6jLy8BF+7Z4/g2ZdXo45ZT4GYrQJhcJnoNt5d/X08p+XO7sufHLu2/HPj61ARXEcB6q927dY7gVREN1xk+yN+1EU3OBvSwp+qJUqwGR8QeT37KZidoQuuQ5f3DXAxOEX6MGnuffMxYCz10Gs1I3+3FuJ4lSGYRpHdwuwDxi9/DRKcd8nHU+goC/6lw8qxKUDS19Z6KnvcK5g6qmgVqY2dhNIj2LPsDvsAvNu+ifPcI+wvo+RlOnMiEAsc3kiZ43A85ROt3sY4QEJ6NNNpPQvpriwJkt+hJtJ0a+OUCQy2NM54TBLT+L5DYOBH3rxd5RrJvaSYNzpiCkaEkpug5N6xTMLUYv5R7heoMGgiE/zWvs0BglgYDZWY/xkQOGTGAr4FEmKHYVrBHLj03bz3gcKAuSIqnWmonjHvBIz+zgMojEMhOgpGeqXCXZIh0Qs1H0LAWvRkMmzeZN3MQygt+vYicu3lZOTQ9wkG68/xRLEB4W7+Hc1GTbOcKGtTdnvNQZe1NMMC3MgzKIDHVKAAauCjdowEYPuwj4y9KddBfpID/9kDtEuSgd41oBcyYmYK5nnhZgzZC4d8GXMytDUYo+L/AxXHpvYbY1BiNU9hYEQb3CjdHABn/HUi3jjOTKBiR8URT+HuIvz35wLTPT9ELM3kMNW3ChgNFdz5DSOFVAxJtbT0WMM898BISzjQ5ofJJ76G3l/52EAIBxSpBXlz/O8dv8ZGAD0wIfkbUtSiqeZBLQQBtDtvo900NfnGNTf3TSbFT6/OcexpHBzd9MOxrJjtpVtE00oscOcz6UDeMkZrtg32X0aymhvevzGdAgEBijJoHkYQQW9f5MOBO1IwCXOT307rE/qii1cds0LDIA/4FkfNBeAtWB+Cc2q5tIBp9zuMKX34O/4aBHFpGg9MjEvOBkFMklPZ9+4KB1gln48ryR436zlTEfeziEDaCiuCS6XCbAWhIn6wogOQr+GgXTRIZs/F2h95RhzLQaYtvPkOUsnlDpfhi3MnB6iWjEfg5k6kpUL8LkV4+6NMFV+e12HT84R01wM/SRM78vD1tAshWkMGhdK6hCruXSAdemQAg+T4LFFdQO68wDPCjhkoFvJJN5lYgYRLYYBVjg6izAimDbaqOXu/BHhrA8DhznwyhgkXvqOEU9MYEgxmggzKj6FgdEPgR09w1ii0sL0OSOuM7wRV5xawcIYYCjMSoA5cUJMdxW9ZWLOqiYyUS9BDArTEDCQZQzeYAxisP8UHeDYUSb/6Tl6ZxdRCUCxP9I1yzB6mDyU5dkY0FJydbfj0xlbUgZX85b0QB+Arsm78kurEYz7lnAYYGJCVBLG9MRpdKBVdsy89Dw62AQWpoO5asgVd2Y1eEE9kdZNqUOj3ndtCvS4f2Jm4uFZvskzREugYCp50Z7miQkpbncpKAmboFAH8zAwEwu1k8V5AQruAQiy+KIKpX6HcTGNGSAsLBeKySRy4DV4Rs/8Ft2AkuuCUpF5YOh9VCvoADecU1wNCL25GLDfgoEO9QOMKQbGRJPPmwtP6sr5xtnZ4N7Urk/aiOap4Iw2H3mgABj3h0CjS3pZXmAAv9zg+WCYCPQ/jgG8Zh2leYKpQ00O0csZ7V2QDkBFSmVmCQFam3hB7Qk2TeloN21N+VrqoRVcmguCnw9SxKBkO0f/GQw4Hp+A/dbZ/OIUmao9TuY3YUBbjUDU/kASFqbaCiq6b+bTAWZbA9v/B+1AbKzFuPV1JHgxF+DxTzrZpcVATtCBfcHzMRAUHC1bO6YcpZgb99/hB0JcYQq9aIt20jRO0Y4+esK3ycVtjKbiyla3++N6gJsXgrfknLRyAcspJbQq6CDdWb/W5d31jsuZ/HwMOOV+VAWiy8B3/MbUmxe0G4GjxZhtdbDxw+5OgClA1Y9Pqmz95RQ3+qAzi86Diza17lvG4ISylVoMEswj5vIWRS793LMxELyBYfwr7jtWjpbXb8dA5AKmbojJyFSAycbCaOcp1R2Ip38WUHwmbXmK/aYWWSUMoFOUvdhhIJMiAV2JN/wGnriL+wSLEwX5SSQl2C+zMZjpV66A1h8fU3df3ynKmAeKopeqnfwpMqAArr1b0KlS+E9l66/tTrxtTAzwWmMg+B3Kru/w5uNg/KgUdVXMBfi+/gy7mfFLQDOq2LwvuE9YJjOOAXhCT6xkmZ+t6s+8uaIDToPg4wwOO1ng1bWDG2BJm72+9fVzUfnxx15Px3liJsMf4WsNf6314HpRfuz17Uty/H71HHupmwWZ3yp3ahtDZ3+aVsV8OuC88WY06tu9OqzRbTabH6r9xaINx1wMwk4d0jhNvGFpS4sJNSyVUpzn1O/zihiO+o1+sXUKz/Ea9fuj0bMxEHq1R2csFzZzuSjlJ3myLXr09VbMIgDTBnpyDa1w7ohS2iLBSkCbp58jF8RjW1lHcj6qZD4GLv8o00ZTKcPwQhi4rC6mClNRudoiBJePO2nFpJ/qGdxAV1n2cOhRMMfZTpSXdeeXPFkvGGB5wYAwiL51DNgLBuxFLmB5oYMXOsDygsELBlge8QNRNofK580Il8tBK+LcWE4u0eE0837i2qPtZsXBXhNqvNuhNnZhrHB90sKUEAAy88a7UY5RFKy8PW+KfsC5TtFElpoz9RizlpyxIc1+usIwsfvZypafOfCidEXwsQW6YgPbpHlkn7a5MScqMq3jnMzjAlgKeSFXfulkMcKqwEBHm7pnEIOlcQzGFxGL2oVzIlAb8Z88H3J3aTJtqHlm8uJEX13t4zv/NPbD4TAvvXmydjblN/scL72KT94kxjo6DYPezvW6Lb1SCnK+db9+v3OlWyzYxcdLP8vS2+a5saMPd9Ynyj2uJmyVr3xfHXdiQM+/4GMbExQN9V/dXPq+n57t5Sbgdm+y+uv7VQBr9f56/afzovGV4h4AAA1ASURBVNL90yTzM//24E0BVGNn/Xp9yb3gNX7dZrMxYE3lTntIVdQ55Mblw3aiNFY6aR3r7wQYlwJFDT5py/4mSieKwgQY16p8RfnvaqwYczzSDB/T6w7ummD5TRYlHgU3dnReA8wQN1GiFlTUiuHxhh3YK2gkpWlKVfuto+KrII3TYN/Ohhp2xB34OM1mahanteNCjXpvo0QpSUudqL7fMYcXYzuDQyKvpdgbO4/D0xFZGxNHO8TutD96fx3Pghw/ZRWd2B/xcDdzSg8GITGMYp08OQHPFMM8QGbdACZQL0s9e8CIjO5zw0xqGBcY31v6r0WUbcaVpzDwZHzE+AQG7FRH15EHXIY+BmQsioGXrrDSmG9SHGl5BQi6MlrGE3NsbRIPtlkAA8w5h4uX7jn1F7NbGDHwwqBmZu2CGFAOKmnc/LsTdCD2owF0HTPl4pGsMlnBcbpRxUP6E6FHGEhZ/JaUVjoEX9brCX6/YOMYmo0BzjJWsakNI/J2H9WftsYxwOxICSVbi1J9oLVe7QQM8Ft6JOxcmIbB6jgGifzcarXObn1FR9pkDRLjFgMK95Je1Nk4OPyIidAwoZ9gW7ctfOizxKgZ+txaNxjIuzP6fhukuIpSHDMkGgHeDriUMkeJCzwhW0at3b3NFmb/kpQm6UuH6rjD08A+U323mCrEYcDZ/4uRNFVnfe9wbYAnpUrMp8I1BqGXBCYsayEMzDHuvLbdBgKns5h4CQM8LCyM9GjSsXM6aku/oAdkFO9a8aMxsCdc8GoL56tfsOwDDEHGlHqlc2Q5BkyEgT6A7kfMuifbueOZGMCsftXV46QyGFAMHwxHGByQQB4dKZNc1GCAM27jOXSAwVykAeWYc4mOp3MYUMAgzWBaScLEN+mtXjMwC6qIgfbfWgy6wiQpGKWhTFSx2nOU4llhGCBQNAnT1obBB6OWYrirDLr0MsT0R3gfxpiR8iQKDHAy4nMXpEzl2Fz8eiIcBok08XkLYnDAzErCazzSLOqJMh3QYXSbQmfFHIGQlBmNCWmBnwgDHbrHHQbMRjR+F9tUsViGmRfKsyMpy3EH634Y4mHXWgGkYwLVjT0vFlfrQ+BQRtt1GAg8Xx3Df4WOGwIYVjDA5VdWwiA4XpwOQqADUl+h5z/E1KISBpgCOEwpaSd2e5AFd3icm9Hutw0GZjGmhAFpGQeUMs2QMtuHma++b1KwllHBeT4A2gjoGEuKEN9Xgd86YPqMNx3eonaZO6XaYsDqSAb+OdO2AmdEobLFdAgMinI8xhxJayG5UBoprNocm+4wwOBZDJbQiyXD/hDlN8WgQ7MNHZi1swIDpg2ILVwCN7ULdpOGSdStYxxqi56Hvl1hDFnL7d9i/fVPudNsKYAj1MGa+nvLRFtRFBoFhdqOIGFITC9kD7VLpKIs1M/GgOG5Z0G/wICLPMUYH3+poaeo+ctgsD0TA6IMDHtWmkXCQ7hLJR2yDOMzGnpxDdMlYghPKdGMJgD+BAbAWmRwUV6qOkth2tSFHjSdcylDzvZ8DN6nFCFTYKBDoYF8/feHFU3Tdk/LPAyIZ34KQJ0wubLAJgDdBZM5bUBjMVk00couKMnqQ8msMEalmIcBfLxENeOkpIiz45Q0UI1BujOQgxB3UT2HJ5qyIylarOAHXFQzyiKbpCo47eUue8tsDPZOarVa5ergHWoxGK1OsAH5hiE28scIyJ/ygnFMNE3RUyXznwzfJ+YCZ3jEoT+2sQRTHcdNoyOlm+9S0BgGuMb/bAxQR6Xo/0JHAkPIHcHnt5tmOXM2Bh6wNczrFOGhf2HUswOL2gLMAd7H+YqJz5DRv4LXBI0Z6+yz58II42JbYzejkEWdADGQ8a8YLw286DdigMFHZT2RNTBBfmjO+Iz+cm7jCGZhgGfq0Q4/PF71zAavjgLQvzC8X9y2cb+HMAIf8Bg9EwMmTgDH8dPq8ShWSfuuEIN0l4LEcTvBfwQDzvodDDH1dPfitZyJefzA84ztgcGz0tjJmCEOOPkNBSWBYZAuMa475dEEfyYGOMpkRBWlrkKMciY6CNNjto/meND7DfwAo8UUbnUtYYC6yjJYTBLPyJQSdNe5PBHtWcwEB6pBsHHu2BuOi575VziId1quPaKDchzCbJ7YACM8HaeDekRbKLRsxGdAUOBrno/BD4owGJsLWPLa9wgDOjqktQBmYBCCJRej6ho1T4qK+z7oyOb02EEoNePVqRdRUJZdoE9jgKkVNT8ouZRQjd/RspH0th4QXhJ0T3BT0bMweIeh1rircAIDlNn7x58x3aUHnGYeHcSb3d6XVoznRxTbE7FFYM/2z0ejUX4NAtg0i16zXw4hKYm72Twx92XoBWN7evdghEBZdhjgOR+gPn+sYGrbKRh0Z2JwlNIJ7JMYkDMYXn0c4UZUk6lvlmzEtH79S5CLYVCEii7FuOvTp4JJE9MzooMbkkNl9aAU+DObDlgbP5TIjDxbHvbEYYBGLUbL4o67RemARmAZ8UUPQqEjgX5ccecIoLYPE3G+joS9OEH9SC7n2i2ldyklIbmLaKcUSUQhmjj3bKg33Jr/dbPPXCzTTH4gUE9UPauxas4Cevl+mQ7IjpKfvefoicCkUO56lyWbifeP79PslBlqBcMx0blT52FAd6/jrjC1ZVz9AAkeRqx9VXTKTrQtyFhOQm2Za/uhEahsqWuV8dl08C7GM8NLZ3sNfaA7NJcLDGjLNJ3yuzAGKPV7UZhod5+dC7kfJ3jghdGSBZom/lx+YDAY0WHY/lAvcOCxBe64Y3Tz0LZm9IjBl6DPbQVAF6G6fMJeAKxQK5SXuU2aQftmoJ3Wf4AYcJZnodkjtygG2I6dlL66uQD9/ozKXteuUTSAGcn203TAMcc0vJ2Mf/gBT+mRxcGy0h1chO6E+K3z/v8Vd5gfiycxGPmeSU6u30w2eLTECgyQyraMx/hJDKx1y/GIMmRkmN+/8CO9S2kns/ZWkD85NadizcOA4aZpjw5Tx/sawB3C9s3x8Xe6kHSklKhbwGUl+lS4JpeEDqKxfZ6BAXrV0LfpV7XjQs+8kIw9iwGj7Xaa9J6UCzI22YMbh+TzfE+C0GHQA/3LC5aGJBu2Fe7n2H2aDpgw59DjWHHa+RueFSJwA48NQN7NhinmTV7R3d5DKyvtFHk0Z9qNlNkYGMwF1ZlvRJjNuEMGl8MA7v81nkEHk34kefYOV7POfJxSCeaBFyW7ceijKR7dNRuN3n2Ek9ruPplPB+Q7A8TaOc0x3E9gl0bR95LQLk5ECo+qkv5GtbF/j5veQZjbhDLzMGBnUg48CaZs4/VmByGW0QWJ1gIDdLkthgG8N9VzFFhVGF/T0rWjgxyGU1JSjCBAnz9I9pa1F9h8DNgXmFoos0Xexq09NuM03DcKQtwjheM2XEYnDZikgQKSANAutX3xBAbiCqcXLrNFQZpi9n3cayPKcwGnjDZgnp4LSWLENh6GsTwUucEgVHg6I4j2lA6iCbUdQJOQm1dsQy/J7+swoG0D2hHCcTqGyd0Qd+UTF3eL1tQZ1dTuNHTkGt0BPVZVtzavN0MVGODZbJ5bZ8IT9BKz0gT/pMmI5HCZDhir+TN4YjR1rQ1VF9WpmJ8wAYFxg3UxvUmoveIgyHatTg+UvR05vzK909CBMZcFcgS03b6LtU1nCnTyb8AQ5Ec9cBcSzVyP8m3LqFm2IT+MYYDQeYlbc92MpFtq8+LLhqFGtJkMHeCpDUDfMt0qlM9pcsEt7MoY7DykAmbWnVNrO9cucZsn7mqBGXFgY1HQf/4JHle7wop3sYHf94Vtcu7jXrtlfhcncbRXYCBETclUBiOthddWKPMMIhB8GguGASMgjUoY3BbrzhgRkChMxQ4TIfZ3+sysmNfwoDjDE4FD+rglaYtNYlDQgdg7O3JlY++k8OguvTo6atUN4v23LR+32/id3Qo3VEY8cb91dHT2pVg83D3Dp6y/EWQdVv/LB6jrqDUqrTGynC5RVgFA4XyvhZtmgstfR2UXIfQS63crlpyvw1NrDVfNqAmMHHO777jVO8FP1twzOPrv4JGzg6JSww+U4wePXBeGdVsLlrtLJxe9Xq+mc4I7d59h89zpjea6sHRh+zJe7A2aCnQu6xpWPxyznR9tHbFTTjNNHd1U2+/1ug3dzHKXTIus1l1Uta80BtvPzS3wJymIxzbFZP2MpyZ87eZ8lYJE8SXAFd8Ddf+NYkAZJih3Wz3y55wO8acunA3bGBsg8ix6+CYJAZd1HyLt1NxQrxj/FtkizIVXlBwRD1ZWD98iBEAJD5F/RcdmgHRsj8Sk9P1zFx3J8magNrRiI85X1Ku+XuGejAv+sxaKxs4/qpWR0crAVlN/revl7689QH9IIdtM1JcVzgSt3A5FPYv9jcq3AYCxwio3fpxV9bZonePw9S+B8l9t9aqVb6FUe1uvAhWtvWalU3UEz/cuA7AFA/9bKEEQqWhlb+JkVWQG3aWz5ZVvoSwvL58tdYfjm+mFmyXfUDEp0F3h+nQoEwf2LRSujxmj8r9hDElirZLyGAAAAABJRU5ErkJggg==" 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I tend to get very distracted. I know I wrote in my last blog entry that I would try writing more, but I let myself get distracted by everything else. I worry that it feels like it’s an excuse not to write and I feel bad because of the people waiting for me to post. I mentioned that I have a hard time making decisions and that includes writing for my blog because it’s difficult to know what topics people are interested in and how I can make one topic different from the other. Sometimes I even wonder if making this blog is a good idea because I worry about keeping up with it. However, the truth is I get a lot of good feedback and it makes me feel good about myself as if this could lead to something.</div>
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Not only does my distraction affect my blog writing, but it also affects other things. For example, I don’t like to talk about PSAT’s or remember how much of money I have in my bank account. I get really nervous about the future and I tell myself my distractions will help me relax and be focused more, but it leads to me being unprepared. I didn’t really think too much about this until I thought about writing it in my blog. People want to receive hope after reading my work, but I don’t see myself as an inspiration. I see myself as a regular person who would be nervous to talk to any of you in person, but I try to continue getting through life.<br />
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I thought while I was being distracted that people would be mad at me for not posting, but I want to share what this blog means to me. This has been very helpful to me to express my feelings and I feel I’m getting better because of it. I want to be less distracted so I can focus on preparing for life after high school and I want to keep making posts. I will try to think of ideas and it might not be too long until I come up with one.<br />
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Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-32911599180428821702018-11-23T13:32:00.000-08:002018-11-23T13:32:02.132-08:00My Time<br />
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Recently I have been feeling very busy. I got my learner’s permit so I’ve been taking a driving class with a driving instructor. I always worried that I would accidentally hurt someone while on the road, but it’s not that bad if you know to be safe. It’s difficult for me to back up or know when other cars are letting me go, but I’m reaching the right speed limits and hitting the breaks less often. Every time I drive I’m starting to feel like I can drive and get my license.</div>
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I also got a job at Target. I’m working in Style, which means I’m putting the clothes where they belong. I had trouble with figuring out my hours because I said on my application that I could work at times between 11 and 6, but they thought that meant I could work seven hours. I got it changed to 12 to 5 and I’m not sure how I can ask for a day off when I can’t work, but I know I can figure it out. The same things goes for how much payment I receive. Work is work, but the employees are nice and it keeps me busy, which makes it feel rewarding when I get to relax afterward.<br />
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I understand it’s been a while since I’ve written, but I believe I can manage my new responsibilities and continue to write my blog now that I’m more in order than I was before.</div>
Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-73251180496744179402018-10-15T18:06:00.003-07:002018-10-16T17:19:27.494-07:00Making Decisions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Activity For You" app by Marisa Gaffney</td></tr>
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Hello again. Everybody has at least one thing they feel they can’t stop being afraid of and for me it’s making decisions. It can be decisions about anything.<br />
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For example, I do not have many favorites. There are some, but if I was asked my favorite movie or song I would get nervous and say I like a lot of them. I do that because I’m afraid what I answer will be set in stone and I’m not sure if I can be committed. <br />
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In a coding class I took during the summer, we were supposed to come up with an idea for an app that would be helpful. For me I wanted to build an app that would assure me I was making the right decision about what the ideal activity would be for me to do. The way it works is you enter information about your personality, location, time and budget and it would come up with the one ideal activity so you’d never have to make a choice and you could do the activity feeling confident about your choice. <br />
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A big decision coming up is what I’m going to do with my life after high school. I don’t know what college I want to go to or what career I want. I know I still have time to figure it out, but I keep getting less time as things go on. If I pick something and it turns out to be the wrong thing for me then I’ll have start from scratch again to get back up, but that could be wrong as well. I’m interested in writing, computers, and photography, but I don’t know if I can truly like it by devoting my whole life to it. Everyone wants to me to have something planned, but I don’t.<br />
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Lately, whenever I try to relax about making decisions I feel like someone’s expecting me to be working and I worry about letting them down, which makes me stressed instead. I’ve been having nightmares about it and it leads to me waking up crying. That’s why I want to be less scared though. I’ll always be afraid, but if I become more confident in other things I’ll believe I’m getting closer to not being afraid all the time. My family is there to help me so I need to be there to help myself. I want to go to college, I want to get a job, and I want to have a career so even if it’s scary I need to not let it stop me in life and start making decisions. Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-25608378365622997572018-10-04T17:14:00.000-07:002018-10-04T17:14:01.765-07:00Action and Reaction<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am going to talk about my behavior towards people. I’m always shy so I can never voice my opinion because even the slightest amount of criticism can hurt my feelings. It makes me jump to the conclusion that everything is wrong with me. I’ve tried being funny, saying things I heard on TV and my own stuff, but sometimes I can come of as sassy which gives people the wrong idea.</span></div>
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<span class="" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I now feel like people expect little out of me when it comes to being nice. I do get bored and complain, but I’m trying not to because I want to put whatever they think of me behind me. However, I still don’t feel safe since I wonder if people are watching me and thinking I’m being rude or inappropriate because I don’t enjoy what’s going on. There’s a possibility that they don’t think that, but I’m waiting to get yelled at instead of calming down. I try giving out more compliments and taking an interest in other people’s lives in order to be nice. Except, I’m not interested in hearing about things I don’t know. I mostly like to wait until it’s something I do know about and then I turn it into a whole discussion.</span></div>
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<span class="" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I also have a little anger since I want people to be unhappy when they make me do things I don’t want to do, but I know that’s wrong. For a long time because of my actions I have been feeling very stupid. I’ve hurt some people and thought I wouldn’t have had problems with them if I wasn’t so mean. It feels though that those people deserve to feel pain because they are doing something wrong, and they need to feel how it is when it is done to them. At least that’s what I think while I’m doing it.</span></div>
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<span class="" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There’s nothing I can do, but move forward. I can speak up knowing I’m entitled to my opinion. I can learn to listen to what people like that I don’t, and I can try to control my anger issues. Hopefully, I can get people to understand that I want to change, but I’ll have to do it by being more confident and kind, which is what I’m planning to do. </span></div>
Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-53963913418142926392018-09-06T18:24:00.000-07:002018-09-06T18:29:32.790-07:00Synesthesia<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I think a certain color when it comes to letters and numbers. For example, the letter A is red and B is brown. The number 5 is blue and 8 is purple. I didn’t know there was a name for it until my doctor told me that I have synesthesia. It is basically a doubling of your senses. There are other kinds of ways to have synesthesia as some people can see music, but colors are it for me. The main letters of a word can even fill up the entire word with one color. For weekdays, Tuesday is orange and Wednesday is green, but some words have multiple colors. For the word eat, E is green, A is red, and T is black.<br /><br /> Some people are fascinated by this. For me though it has always been natural. I didn’t even realize not all people think like this. When someone mentions a letter or number I don’t think about the color because if I did then I would never be able to catch up on what anyone was saying. I have to think the letter or number myself for it to work.<br /><br />Other people who have synesthesia might not have the same colors as me. I’ve had the same colors for as long as I could remember. I didn’t choose the color because they always felt like the right ones and there are some letters that don’t even have colors such as C and R. Some letters slipped under the surface and now it feels odd suddenly thinking of a color for them.<br /><br /> I wouldn’t go as far to say my synesthesia is a superpower because those are meant to benefit the world. However, it might lead to me doing something great. Maybe not save the Earth from doom, but something that will help someone, somehow.</span>Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-21434735352582238832018-08-30T18:06:00.000-07:002018-09-03T16:50:31.774-07:00Perfection<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hello. Marisa Gaffney speaking again. The first topic about my autism I want to bring up is how I can freak out when things aren’t exactly perfect. If something I own even has the slightest scratch I try take make it fit, but then I can end up making more scratches. I ask people for reassurance if something will be okay and I already know they’re going to say yes, but I feel I kind of bug them into saying it because I need to hear it. I know that not everything can be perfect, but it disappoints me when I think I can keep something good and it turns out I can’t.<br />
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I have several examples to share of what I mean. When I was younger I paid attention to how my toys didn’t look as perfect as they did when I got them and it made me wish I had been more careful. I get comfortable in one seat, but then no other seat can make me comfy so I always have to have my seat. I’m not like that outside home, but I keep control in the house when I can. I count on myself to do great on school tests, but even though I’m not as upset if I get a few wrong answers I get very upset when I get one answer wrong. It’s constantly on my mind how I could have been perfect if I got that one answer right. One time I was crying non-stop for hours. <br />
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When I think back on these examples, it can feel a little pathetic to me because it comes up in my mind once in a while. I understand it will affect my life if I keep thinking that way so I have to think about how it’s not that bad. I’ve heard scars have history and it can be really interesting how a scratch can tell a story. It might make the thing it cut more pretty looking. Most importantly, I feel better about myself when I think that way and that does feel perfect.Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7924654375223230014.post-27252890720254480132018-08-23T16:54:00.000-07:002018-09-03T17:01:10.954-07:00A Peek Inside: The Beginning<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="s1">Hello. My name is Marisa Gaffney. I am 16 years old, I have red hair, I have green eyes, and I have autism. I have come to understand that I have a different point of view on things than most people and that is because the autism makes me experience and think about things in my own way. </span><br />
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<span class="s1">There are certain things about autism that make me feel proud of having it, but there are other things about me that leave stressed. For example, I freak out when something isn’t exactly perfect and it takes a while for me to follow instructions. I am good at instructions though once I do figure it out. More on those things later.</span><br />
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<span class="s1">My mom thought making this blog could be good for me because I get to express myself and share who I am with people who are like me. I think it can be good idea and I’d feel happy if what I say might help someone. My autism makes things a little harder, but I try to get better how I can and with understanding things have gotten better.</span></div>
<br />Marisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02388047247914677321noreply@blogger.com0