Making Decisions

"Activity For You" app by Marisa Gaffney

Hello again. Everybody has at least one thing they feel they can’t stop being afraid of and for me it’s making decisions. It can be decisions about anything.

For example, I do not have many favorites. There are some, but if I was asked my favorite movie or song I would get nervous and say I like a lot of them. I do that because I’m afraid what I answer will be set in stone and I’m not sure if I can be committed.

In a coding class I took during the summer, we were supposed to come up with an idea for an app that would be helpful. For me I wanted to build an app that would assure me I was making the right decision about what the ideal activity would be for me to do. The way it works is you enter information about your personality, location, time and budget and it would come up with the one ideal activity so you’d never have to make a choice and you could do the activity feeling confident about your choice.

A big decision coming up is what I’m going to do with my life after high school. I don’t know what college I want to go to or what career I want. I know I still have time to figure it out, but I keep getting less time as things go on. If I pick something and it turns out to be the wrong thing for me then I’ll have start from scratch again to get back up, but that could be wrong as well. I’m interested in writing, computers, and photography, but I don’t know if I can truly like it by devoting my whole life to it. Everyone wants to me to have something planned, but I don’t.

Lately, whenever I try to relax about making decisions I feel like someone’s expecting me to be working and I worry about letting them down, which makes me stressed instead. I’ve been having nightmares about it and it leads to me waking up crying. That’s why I want to be less scared though. I’ll always be afraid, but if I become more confident in other things I’ll believe I’m getting closer to not being afraid all the time. My family is there to help me so I need to be there to help myself. I want to go to college, I want to get a job, and I want to have a career so even if it’s scary I need to not let it stop me in life and start making decisions.