Sensitivity

I want to share some sensitivity issues I have and try to explain what they are about because I realize it may not be obvious. Some people call what I have “sensory integration disorder” and it is a neurological condition associated with autism. Whatever the name is, I want to do my best to explain the uncomfortable feelings I have that are not typical for most.

I would be what some might call a picky eater. I don’t tend to go for food that’s too spicy or tastes too different or sometimes it is the texture. For example, since preschool I have not liked sprinkles because to me they ruin the smoothness of ice cream and cupcakes. I tend to “go with what I know” and for that reason keep what I eat pretty consistent. I have made an effort in recent years to try new things, but some food simply doesn’t taste good to me. I know I am not alone with this. I have met people who didn’t expand on what they ate until their mid-twenties and there are some people without autism who agree with me on sprinkles so I know I have time to figure things out while still having my own opinion. 

Another sensitivity is touch. When someone touches my body it can really bother me, especially if it is unexpected like a surprise hug. Sometimes when I am touched I often rub at the spot to make the feeling of being touched go away because it can leave an additional feeling on my body that I didn’t want in the first place. Some things simply don’t feel good to me, like certain fabrics and metal which can feel sweaty and dirty. My mom would use a special brush on my arms and legs when I was younger (and even once and a while now) and that would help make me less sensitive as well as be soothing. 

Some people may think I am rigid or closed off because of my sensitivities. I know myself how I feel and I am okay with staying guarded to avert the uncomfortable feelings that sensory integration disorder brings.